Friday, June 18, 2010


Was salaatu was Salaamu 'alaa an Nabiyyi al Mustaaphaa.

So fast how time runs and the days count. When I look back at my yesterdays, I realized that it is almost four years since I left my family and country trying to seek sacred knowledge. AlhamduliLLAH, it has been a very smooth but rough path or I will say vice versa. Before planning this long trip I call adventure, I never knew it was going to take me this far before thinking of returning to visit my family.

It has not been so easy for me being the second youngest in my family and the only one who has completely chosen this path. It took me time to summon courage and accept that this is the way I will life for the rest of my days in this wordly life. AlhamduliLLAH, when I decided that this was it, my parents had no objections but gave me their total support and blessings. While they had no objections, they also had fears. Fears like my going farther from the family without anyone known to them having a direct contact with me.

No doubt that their fear was the same fear I have been nursing in my heart. For instance, things happen to me, I hardly let them know in order not to put more fears in their hearts except that I inform my older brother little about it. The same way they do when any thing bad goes wrong in the family, they tend to keep it away from me in order not to distract my studies or increase the fears I nurse in my heart.

It is almost four years so far. What have I been able to achieve! With joy and gratitude to ALLAH, I can proudly say that I am not left out of those who ALLAH showers HIS blessings upon in this life as we hope for more in the next one. Prior to my travel, I had no knowledge, I mean no knowledge of the arabic language except that I could read the Qur'aan with other chapters I had memorized. Arabic words I knew at that time are those common vocabularies you hear every Muslim talk about like Eemaan, Ihsaan, taqwa and their likes.

Today, I cannot only read the Qur'aan but can speak if not fluently the Qur'anic language, write letters or articles in arabic, translate sentences and phrases, teach the ritigrities of the language like grammar, morphology, semantics, etc.

Within this short time spent, I have been able to study a little bit of the major Islamic sciences like the three sciences of Rhetoric (Balaghah; Bayaan, badii', ma'aani), Usul al fiqh, Fiqh, Grammar, Sarf, Seerah, Mantiq, Meeraath, Aadaab, Hadith, Tasawwuf except for Tafseer that I have not really had the opportunity to sit with a teacher who can give me an insight of what this science entails. Although I have revised some books of Tafsir like the tafseer of Abdul Qaadir al Jeelaani, Jalaalayn, Zamakhshari, but that doesn't suffice just like the saying goes ''knowledge is not taken from pages but from the hearts of men''.

Last month after having some thoughts, I arrived at a conclusion that it was high time I gave myself a break and visited my family. I was realizing how weak I am and couldn't give in my best because the zeal and determination in is dying. Indeed, visiting my family I thought will be a renewal of this zeal that has carried me all along these years.

I spoke to my Shuyukh about this and they had no objection but praised my patience for this long stay. My mum was over excited when I informed her of my decision to spend a short break home before returning as she keeps asking me when will I return for her to see me.

I know obviously that during my absence, many has changed so lots of expectation from me and others. Will I be welcomed by those who I left, how will they look at me, can I share with people what I have been able to cover during my absence, am I a failure having chosen this path instead of medicine, Engineering, etc like others say??? So many questions I keep asking myself.

My older sister who got married when I was away said to me last week in joy, ''my twin will finally know their uncle''. Yes, I hope and pray so. She was put to bed when I left, they are now grown and can speak to me but I have no idea how they look like.

My older nephews and nieces are now grown having heard their voices and pictures. But surprising to me is that I never saw the picture of my immediate family nor did they since my departure except for the pictures I sent two months after my arriving shaam. I wonder why such happened. It is still a mystery to me.

Next week, My flight will be taking off and home I come. Who will collect me at the airport, I don't know. I am so anxious and enthusiastic. I love to be home again. Can I say, Mauritania and Syria have been '' home away from home''? It's difficult to say yes.

I hope readers of this blogs will make duas for me for a safe trip and meeting my family in good health. More postings and pictures when I arrive my country home. I will spend three months insha ALLAH enjoying myself with my family before returning to Mauritania.

wal hamduliLLAHI Rabbil 'aalamin.


Ceebs said...

SubhanAllah Sidi ! May Allah (swt) make your journey easy and trust me the path you have chosen is a dream for many but a reality for you only. May Allah (swt) grant you wisdom and knowledge. May Allah(swt) enhance the love between you and your family.
Is there a way to contact you by e-mail?

Ceebs said...

Also wanted to add that your blog has been an inspiration for me. I check it multiple times every single day. Please keep up the good work.
May Allah (swt) reward you !

Farzeen said...

Assalaamu'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Allahu akbar. SubhanAllah, there are some who venture as you have but do not return with what you have. May Allah increase you in knowledge, adab, humility, himma, and understanding, and let you be a source of sakinah for your family and loved ones, ameen.

I think your return home will likely be bitter sweet...but there is khayr in everything and with high intentions, especially with respect to your parents, your journey still continues. As you said yourself, it's how you'll spend the rest of your days in this world, bi ithnillah.

A teacher once advised that the most difficult thing for those returning is maintaining humility, so let that be your companion as you've seen it in your teachers, inshaAllah. Fighting the nafs continues.

All the best insha'Allah. Please remember us in your du'as too in this blessed month(s), and especially as you travel.

Guruzone said...

Salaamu 'alaykum
Thank you both for the comments and nice words. CEEBS, You can surely contact me. My email is as underscore abdulng at hotmail dot com. Sorry I typed it this way. Email extractors always trace emails properly written. Send me your ID insha ALLAH.