Thursday, September 23, 2010

Returning to Mauritania.

BismiLLAH,
Was salaatu was salaam ‘alaa An Nabiyyil Mustafaa.
AlhamduliLLAH, so fast how the days run so fast and we are short of the blessings of ALLAH each day that passes us by. It is so surprising to me how the three month of my holiday will be coming to an end in few days. I now have less than 180 hours in my country before leaving for Mauritania again. It feels weird and very unusual for me. At the same time, it feels bad and perturbing since I am going to leave behind the unsolved problems.

I am yet to come to term with the fact that I will be leaving my family again for thousands of miles: leaving the comfort that I have been enjoying for the true Bedouin life in the desert lands of Mauritania. One thing still baffles me to date; none in my family except my brother knows that I was living in a desert with no electricity, no good shelter, sleep on a mat, etc and will be returning to it in few days. I have refused to show my family the pictures I took of myself and friends in Mauritania in order not to put fears in their hearts. And when they get to seeing them, I take away my camera and tell them there are things I don’t want them to see. So funny uh? But I have my reasons. But this is the choice I have chosen and I see light in it in the future so may ALLAH azza wa jall put HIS blessings in it.

The last time I left my family to study sacred knowledge, I spent almost four years before my decision to come back home for a visit. It felt nice meeting the family but also bad meeting things the way they are. It was difficult for me to accept the reality of things but I fear I may not be able to make any significant change even if I study for another 20 years. Things are just bad, people are becoming animals, things that used to be good are now seen as bad, values, morals, virtues are things for our trash bags while immorality, evil, promiscuity, hatred, jealousy, distance from the deen, etc are now the order of the day.

All of these happened within a short time interval of my departure and what a drastic change! This is the society where I will still come to live in, teach all that I have learnt, and raise my children if ALLAH wills. My coming back is a recorded failure as I couldn’t make any difference. People kept their distance from me because I wear Gallabah, ‘imaamah, jubbah, etc and when I try to wear something that is in agreement with them as long as it covers my awrah, it becomes a different discussion.

They think the only kind of discussion I have is Religion. I asked a person recently that why has the person kept a distance from me and before the response, I said to the person, you think I will only discuss religion with you right? Or boring things? The person answered me in the affirmative. I went further to explain that I can talk politics, sports, religion, life and every other thing more than you.

I can’t make the friends I want to, I can’t sit in gatherings that have worthwhile discussions in them, I can’t choose for myself a sister that suits me because they have a different perception of who I am and make them behave artificial or disguise themselves, I can’t play football the way I used to because it is not seen like what football should be, I can’t enter a bank with my ‘imaamah because they think I am a JIHADIST like one of the bankers told me so I am subjected to an extra search.
I am not happy leaving this kind of society for another long time because I am studying the deen to get myself closer to ALLAH and also help these people in correcting the bad notion they have about it and putting them on the right track. We need study to teach people about the beauty of this deen, help the ignorance, inculcate the love of ALLAH and HIS prophet in the hearts of people, etc.

I am happy that I am leaving for Mauritania again where I will be with people that have like minds with me, sit, drink, eat and laugh with them, spend ample and lovely time with these people that makes me remember the hereafter and again I feel sad that I couldn’t do anything to change some of these problems I am faced with before my departure for Mauritania.

Insha ALLAH with our collective efforts, duas and good teachings, we will surely make the world a better place for us and our yet unborn to live and dwell in with joy and tranquillity. Just like the beautiful saying of our righteous scholars; a dua can move a mountain so don’t look down at it.

Mauritania, here I come again. My teachers, I can’t wait to see them, feel their love and kindness. I can’t wait to start wearing my dira’ah everyday, pass through the sands, drink zirig and eat my unbalanced diet food every day. Make duas for my safe arrival and pure intention for seeking knowledge.

Insha ALLAH more pictures will be posted when I return to Mauritania and send your questions. I am ever ready to answer them before entering the desert.

I love you all.
Was salaamu ‘alaykum warahmatULLAH.