Saturday, July 16, 2011

A NEW DAWN

BISMILLAH.

Was Salaatuu was salaam ‘alaa khayri khalqi ALLAH.

I have not had the opportunity for some weeks to post anything on the blog except for last night when I remembered my friend telling me to update the blog with a new post. Indeed, I am beginning to feel unconcerned about this blog because I feel it is high time I put it out of existence. You may wonder why I want to do this...My reason is, I started this blog early 2008 when I was informed by one of my teachers, Shaykh Abdullah of their desire to raise fund in completing the mahdhara’s mosque that became a big burden on them after they were promised by a Qatari charitable organisation that they will build for them a mosque if they start the project on their own but never did. He urged me to start maybe a forum or something on the internet announcing to people of their need for assistance to complete the mahdhara’s mosque. I thought starting a blog with pictures of the mosque in its foundation level will be a good idea and that was how the whole journey started. The blog later turned to be an avenue where I post about experiences in Mauritania, later Syria then my travels to different places.

Now the mahdharah’s mosque has been completed since two months ago after serious struggles and assistances from people from different parts of the world. I now wonder, is there any need for me to continue with this blog since the reason that lead me to starting it has been accomplished? My friend suggested to me to continue but my heart is yet to give me its answer.

What a year for me! My sweet friend Yusuf whom I convinced to leave his PhD programme in Yale for a year to come to Mauritania left about two months ago after spending about 8 months here. Yusuf was my support, he was my companion, he was my house mate, he was the pillar I was leaning on when I was falling. I never realized the connection between us till he left. Now I miss him and feel so lonely. He prepared for me breakfast every morning, he washed the dishes for me while I do the cooking when it was my turn, he cooked food that tasted like Chinese shark fin soup, he gave us concoction he called tea and he challenged me that he will get married before me. Make duas for him and pray that ALLAH gives you a friend like him.

What a year for me! Indeed, this year has not been too excellent for me like my previous years seeking knowledge. Some of us can tell what it means to be a student of knowledge. The path of seeking this divine knowledge is beautiful and has a rewarding end if the ship sails through its heavy ocean wind and wave without problem. This path may also be very tough in a way I can’t describe. It is either you face difficulty in studying, memorizing your texts, feeling being single, having little or no money to take care of your needs, been humiliated by people who feel you are a no body because you seek knowledge, falling sick frequently, etc. The later is the case for me.
Recently, my very good friend sidi Waseem sent me an email saying in it, ‘’masha ALLAH, you must have become a Shaykh now’’. I didn’t say no or deny it like every humble student of knowledge would do rather I said to him, YES. But YES and what? I said yes I have become a Shaykh of diseases. You may ask, how could that be possible...I will tell you. Late last year, it was me and frequent fever, at the beginning of this year, malaria was giving me pains then later it developed to Typhoid. I went through that pain until I felt better again until recently when things almost turned upside-down. It almost became the end of me except that ALLAH didn’t will it to end that way. I had hepatitis.

I was in my house last month after a very brief travel to the city and returning the same day back to the village. It started like every usual illness like body weakness. That weakness developed to aches in the bones and there the whole crisis started. I couldn’t eat nor drink. Anything I ate or drank was vomited. I felt my intestines were coming out through my throat when vomiting. Then I realized that I couldn’t sit or even sleep on my back, solah was becoming impossible and communication was very difficult. This became worse that I couldn’t carry myself anymore and that led to the grand Shaykh of the mahdharah: Shaykh Baa coming to my house very late in the night after being informed by his son, my teacher Shaykh Abdullah of my state. My house was full with people of different sexes and ages. It was that night I was rushed to the city for urgent treatment which I was diagnosed of having hepatitis. Indeed I thought I was going to pass on to the next world. I thought of my poor mother, father and siblings. What if I died, would they have known? How would they have heard?

AlhamduliLLAH, I am recuperating from my illness and ask you for your duas.
Unfortunately for me, all the time I leave the village for the city for treatment, someone always burgles my house to steal from me anything he finds important. This last one when I was in the hospital made it the fourth time the thief burgled my house and took away my valuables. So bad, he took my digital camera with over 2000 pictures in it and mobile phone I left in the house before been taken to the hospital. He had no mercy on me even if he knew I was taken to the city for treatment.

Now is the bravest step that I will be taking. I am leaving Mauritania for another country. Yes, I am leaving Mauritania for Senegal in few days to spend my Ramadhan with a friend of mine, Shaykh Mustafa. AlhamduliLLAH, I have been able to study few texts and benefitted immensely from my venerable teachers in Mauritania. It has been a good time for me and I have tasted the true meaning of seeking knowledge. Make duas that ALLAH gives me guidance in accomplishing my goals sincerely for HIS sake.
And after Senegal, what happens? That is what I don’t know. Insha ALLAH I will wait for ALLAH’s wind of destiny to blow me to where there is HIS tawfeeq. Some are insisting that I should go back home to give myself break after continuous years of study but I think that may affect my plans and the goals I intend accomplishing. Just like the saying goes, a stitch in time saves nine, so let me do it now or never.
Mauritania, goodbye, I will see you again in the nearest future. As you read this, pray that ALLAH guides me to the right place and person, pray for my good health, pray for my sincerity in seeking knowledge and remember other students of knowledge wherever they are.
Was salaam.